Smiles are the brand new dress

Good morning, good people and God bless,
Why you looking stressed,
God love you,
Man kill all that mess,
Sun is shining,
Kids laughing,
Why you stressed?
Smiles are the new swagg!,
Put on that dress,
Good morning,good people and God bless =)

Be Still and Know that I am God

Man I'm feeling small,
but He say stand tall,
can't you see me standing man,
I was always the last one picked when we played basketball,
okay listen man,
you gotta become a man,
Here's a giant you have to fight in your life,
All you have to do is overcome it,
and you'll become the bigger man,

Be still,
know that I'm God,
find the God in you,
and overcome the odds,

can I get a chair atleast......

Jesus Visa

We all want heavn on earth,
we need some visas,
they wanna make it to the last supper,
they still on fast food,
they ordering pizzas,
you understand what I'm saying,
this ain't a thesus,
you queueing at the embassy,
when all you need is Jesus

Africa

Africa must wake up, sleeping sons of Jacob,
Why they stealing our Jewels, giving them to Jacob,
Mandela free,
But are we truly free,
Our land is rich, minds stuck in poverty,
Black oil,
Black on black crime,
We fight wars,
Western ideologies,
With that in mind,
Are we truly free,
More issues than Mogadishu,
Somalia I pray you free,
Africa we must wake up,
Cradle of mankind
From the leaders of the pyramids,
Down to Zimbabwe,
Wake up the leadership,
What’s up Mugabe?
We all distant relatives,
Now let’s say, Africa must wake up

Ali

I am the greatest,
Destined to be,
Greatest is who I am,
You can’t beat me
I’ll beat the ugly outta you
And your whole family tree,
Been hit with lefts, I been hit with rights,
But I’ll knock the lights outta you,
Leave you feeling like a Christmas tree,

I’m so mean I make medicine sick,,
I’m so sick I make vitamins sick,
Coming out swinging,
You better get outta my way,
Coming back like the 15th round,
You don’t wanna be around

Your not gonna steal my fight,
I’ve been shook down,
I’ve been shook up,
You better weave,
Here comes my killer uppercut,
Oh! Mercy mercy me!

Dreaming of beating me,
You better wake up and apologize,
I will the beat ugly out of you,
And your whole family tree,
Don’t you wish you were me,
Thank God they can only be one you,
and only one me,
I got sumn new for this fight,
Coming back in the 15th round,
Ama bout to turn off your lights,
There can only be one me,
I am the greatest me,
Ali wanna fight?

Spaceships Version 1.0

I believe in spaceships,
I wasn’t made for this,
Looking around the world,
It looks like it need a facelift,
Take me to your leader,
I don’t know how to get around,
I need to rent a car from avis,
Man, my eyes are racist,
I see the black and the white,
Why you lost in the grey,
That’s cause you listen to the voice,
Of those that are famous,
And updates from Facebook pages,
Or twitter those whose names,
Who know you as nameless,
Spaceships are something higher,
Man makes planes,
Don’t trust anything man makes,
Planes are dangerous,
Invest in guns,
Man they blazing,
Paging Dr. Jekyl,
He ain’t got no insurance,
Can’t you hear the beep,
Please he fading

I believe in spaceships,
The invasion has begun,
Man has lost the fight,
Aliens we invading!!!

Love You Rosa

Looking around I can’t see anyone standing for anything anymore,

My eyes are sore,

I just think we just need to sit down like Rosa Parks,

Even if it means,

Sitting down on the bathroom floor,



And no one sleeping anymore,

I guess that’s why we ain’t got no,

Dreamers,

Martin Luthers,

We ain’t got no Kings,

All we got is Juniors,

Juniors,

Who don’t know their future,

I think its time,

We need to sit down,

Like Rosa Parks,

Start a revolution,

Look at society,

We are the solution…………………………………………………………..



Take 2

We don’t stand for anything,

I think we need to sit down like Rosa Parks,



I’m not even trying to start a movement,

But look around,

Don’t you think we need some movement!



It’s in our bad days,

That we find our ways,

Do we walk the same way,

Or find the black and the white,

And eliminate the grey,

But until we sit down,

We ain’t got no better days,



Take 3

Love you Rosa!

Pass the Test

Kill Goliath when he is a baby, strangle Delilah when she's in the cradle"
Too many of us try to postpone a decision which we know inherently is wrong choosing to believe it'll take care of itself or we'll handle it some other time. In our procrastination we are in essence exacerbating the negative impact in our life and future. It is much easier to deal with a flaw when it is in its initial stages, BUT true we all make mistakes but learn quick and get up and MOVE ON!!! I have battled with smoking pretty much most my life and have no problem talking about it, it has been a back and forth, but I had to draw the line.It would have been much easier if I just quit when I had smoked initially than when I had to have had at least one a day. It was taking over my life and there is a way, your waekness seems to take over and try to supercede and become your srength. Its an illusion for example people who "find solace in drinking" "smoking marijuana" "constant relationships" etc. Draw strength from within from what God has given to you. External pressures are only meant to influence positivity internally.
PASS THE TEST!!! many people wonder why their life doesn't seem to change, PASS THE TEST! their is something in your life that you know isn't right, leave it...that's Delilah!!! she's deceiving and you won't realize it but something tells you, that your not on the right course. Like Samson you'll end up dieing miserable full of regret, crying out to God but it'll be too late. Are you gonna live a half, downtrodden barely making it through type life?!?
PASS THE TEST, ‎"Kill Goliath when he is a baby, strangle Delilah when she's in the cradle" YOU CHOOSE!!!

The Devil Playing On The Radio

"Speaking to the congregation, we love Jesus but you look like you learnt alot from Satan"Kanye
"Kanye talking about how she learn alot from Satan,/I guess we living in the times when everyone gone pagan/devil in a red dress/ what he saying?/how long you gone ballroom dance why he playing?/I listen to Kanye and what he saying/why you have to ad a hook to a Satan /why you playing?/so when Timmy bumps you in his track and you are playing?/he gone vibe Satan/I hear your lyrics and what you playing/Power in the words/what you relaying?
Why we go from Jesus walks to hooks on the Satan/we go to church but we pagan/ Jesus coming but we dancing with devils/why we playing?"Chris Mark The Dream

A commercial with "Errrrrmmmmm So yeah"

Never trust a hard on because eventually it will let you down, take a moment and think, don't be hard on yourself, one hard decison could let you down for the rest of your life.
This Ad was brought to you by "Errrrrrrrmmmm so yeah"

"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"

And now! for the final question? Are you ready………? Do you love her?....your choices are A) Yes
B) She cooks well
C) No
D) I couldn’t get the girl who works on the 2nd floor

Joe: I think I’ll “ask the audience”
Ben: Okay, Joe seems to be in a pickle, audience in front of you, you will find a remote with choices from A to D, select the one that you feel is right, remember the stakes are high…., Joe I wouldn’t like to be your girlfriend right now
Joe: Thank God your not
(Crowd laughs)
Ben: Okay audience key in your choice starting now

Ben: Okay the results are in and
20% say “Yes”
10% say “She cooks well
30% say “No”
40% say “I couldn’t get the girl who works on the 2nd floor

Ben: Joe, it seems you having problems climbing those stairs?
Joe: Ben, (he chuckles) my foot can still make it to you’re a$#
Ben: AND AUDIENCE we can see here is a case of someone who needs to learn how to use the elevators
(Crowd laughs)
Joe sneers
So Joe, has the audience made your choice easier?
(pauses)
Joe: This is a tough one Ben
Ben: Really, …..Joe its either you know or you don’t?
Joe: Ben,how did you get this job?
Ben: Well Joe, why don’t you ask the audience?
(Crowd laughs)
Ben: We’re running out of time what is your choice?
Joe: Could you eliminate the choices?
Ben: Okay computer eliminate two wrong choices and leave the right ones?

Ben: So the computer seems to think, it is
A) Yes
And
D) I couldn’t get the girl who works on the 2nd floor

Ben: Joe has that helped your decision?
Joe: I think you need a new computer
Ben: And like the computer maybe you’ll need a new girlfriend?
(crowd laughs)
Ben: Why is it so difficult anyway?
Joe: It’s a strong commitment; I want to be absolutely sure
Ben: Then why are you in it anyway?
Joe: Why do you host this show?
Ben: Because you took my job on the first floor!
(crowd laughs)
Ben: What is your choice?
Joe:Can I call a friend?
Ben:And who are you calling?
Joe:Tim, I grew up with him, he pretty much knows me inside out he always gives me advice on the right way to go?
Ben:And what does he do?
Joe:He’s an entrepreneur
Ben:In what?
Joe:He is into this and that?
Ben:And that is who you are calling?
Joe:Yes, he’s been out school doing his thing for awhile but always manages to find a way
Ben: Ladies and Gentlemen, where Lil boy tim

(Phone rings)
Ben: Hallo timmy, this is Ben from “Are you Serious?” Now we have Ben here who’s in a sticky situation and needs your help, he’s at his final question “ do you love her?,you have 30 seconds, the next voice you’ll hear is from Joe…

Go

Joe:Hallo Tim,
Tim:Hey wasup man what’s going on? I’m hearing you in a sticky situation (laughs) like me oh! man these people I borrowed money from have come over to the house, and I have no money
Joe:Tim
Tim:No really, I’m hiding behind the couch, I’ve told my mom to tell them to go away
Joe:Tim, uhhh!
Tim:You do you have any money by the way, you know I’m good for it?
Joe:Tim, can you…
Tim:Oh! you do, man! I know you always come through, yo! Mommy! is my peanut butter and jelly sandwich ready….

AND TIMES UP…

Ben: So Joe, you friend wants a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?......
Joe:Shut up!

Joe can you decide…….

Government to Fight Crime with Vaseline

Due to the increasing security concerns, the government has issued an alert and a statement as follows,” We have noticed that robberies have increased exponentially in the recent months and this has put a strain on our police. After much consideration and analyzing the budget at our disposal, we have come up with safety measure to reduce the crime. Fellow citizens we will be issuing tubs of Vaseline at our local police stations, we would like you to apply this Vaseline liberally around your neck. Lubricate your neck as much as you can, this will in essence greatly reduce your chances of being strangled or being choked from behind. We as the government never do have a sound solution to your problems and this is yet another one. We take no shame in having uttering this absolutely contrived and hideous solution but as usual we expect you to make noise and absorb it briskly. We will not be taking any questions at this point, feel free to collect a tub of Vaseline as you leave, lubricate your neck, it could save your life.

False doctrine is like Morning Wood

So apparently how you wake up is how the rest of your day is gonna be?....that's just dumb, so what happens if I wake up with "morning wood" really there are some really dumb notions in this world e.g if you see a black cat that means your gonna have bad luck, personally I think thats just being racist,or if you bite your tongue that means someone is talking about you (maybe you just have poor reflexes).
You gotta be careful what you believe these days, a truth is only a truth if it liberates, if not its just a placebo.
False doctrine is like morning wood it will make sense at that time and feel real but after awhile it'll go, it just keeps you up for awhile.

I hate your weave!!!

"I love you I really do but me,you and your weave cannot coexist,one of us has to go!Its not me, its your weave,dont listen to India Arie anymore"
I think most of us in our relationships have this one thing about our lover/partner/ honey pot or whatever irrational name love has got you calling them, that really you just can't stand! I don't know why most of us keep it in because eventually its going to come out or innappropriately in a conversation e.g Honey can you pass me the sugar,you horse wearing weave loving hobo and you need to trim your toenails, you nasty woman, thank dear!"or " today is such a beautiful day, it would be so nice if you finally learnt how to do your own damn! shopping you inconsiderate...., oh! look a bird just flew by"
In all our relationships the realer we are the better, if they can't take you being real, probably your in the wrong relationship, the truth hurts and probably if you are with the right person they probably will. The truth always comes out, learn how to take it with grace, if its a loving relationship ( I can't believe I used that expression I feel like a marriage counsellor, but I got a soft spot "no homo") it should always build you to being a better person.
Now,"I hate your weave!"

The Great Outdoors

I really can’t see the point of camping. To leave the comfort of your own home to go and sit under the stars, the moon, the elements, ……..if you think about it, that really defeats the purpose of a house, that you so struggled to attain or for some of us who are past the “why are you still in my house” date? Why didn’t you just call it a day and move to the forest initially? I can see the point of camping maybe if it is to avoid that hideous face of your landlord, water and ludicrous power bills from a truly defunct and futile power agency. To be one with nature, is the usual excuse, or I want to go to “the great outdoors to find myself”, well every time I leave my house I am already in the great outdoors.
Crazy drivers, just crossing the road gives you an adrenaline rush, super bionic mosquitoes, no water, no power; sometimes in my house I feel like I’m camping, just me and my candles as the power mafia feel the need to regulate my power intake, as I listen to the sights and sounds of Nairobi: Someone trying to clear their throat after being strangled out of their dues, I call it the “Strepsil treatment” or the classic “Backstroke” where someone sneaks up behind you, grabs you from behind and his accomplice picks you up from your feet and proceeds to “borrow” your shoes, the usual matatu conductor getting cussed out, the neighborhood drunk trying out for “MTAA’S (Hood's) NEXT IDOL” With all these dangers and pleasant sounds, why do we seek to live our lives on the edge in the wild while the city is so courteous enough to give us our own “Great outdoors” Why should we dance around a camping fire, skipping daintily and holding hands, what are we, trying to summon spirits?!? We have made great strides in civilization and fought for freedom not to be there, the next time you go camping think, “What would Thomas Edison think? He got electrocuted about a 1000 times trying to give you light but noooooooooo you want to go and sit under a moon“I want to find myself” someone retorts, well let me save you the psychologist, self help book fees………”LOOK IN THE MIRROR!” or you could just find God? I don’t need a chimpanzee or a koala bear to help me find myself.
I think I want to get away from it all………..

Baaa-aaaad

Sheep continue to protest in the city streets, as the crowd continues to fall asleep in their droves,"Bah! how long will we be counted and be ridiculed in books?"Big Sheep
Random street person, "are you trying to pull the wool over our eyes?" "we are tired of you" as the crowd breaks into an uproarious laughter.
"Four feet good, two feet baa-aa-ad" the ringleader blares......
Could this be the uprising of the sheep.....,(yawn) stay tuned to the next episode of-of-of-.....yaaaaawn, just stay tuuned

Loading.....

As many things in this life...this blog...so is my life...always a work in progress, to see the full picture is near impossible and in that respect I am learning the importance of faith. It is not necessarily how you start but how you finish, Steve Harvey in his car walking to smoky pubs being told he will never make it, LL being turned away, Einstein being told he is stupid etc these are just a few examples that come to my head maybe it is because in one way or another they influence me. In that respect so I consider faith, that which spurs you on. To do that which you can in the midst of adversity or to put it lightly "not seeing the whole staircase"
All I can say is look to at the stars,the complexity of life, How amazing is our creator, in His hands our future is great, "History is mine, for I intend to write it" said Churchill but I feel I'm in better hands with God,....Faith....Loading.....

I used to write...

I stopped writing for awhile I don’t know why…..maybe I do. I got so caught up in life that I tended to question myself, my gifts, my beliefs, my being, that I started to doubt myself. Who am I to question why I was born with this gift, it’s not for the Pulitzer but maybe in one way or another words will impact a life one day.
Will you write when no one is looking? Will you play that amazing key? Will you sing and dance in the shower like no one is watching? Crack that joke that you know, no one will find funny and laugh by yourself?
We tend to focus too much on the destination that none of us enjoy the journey, the pitfalls, the mistakes, the victory, celebration because the truth is if you only stay strong and believe, no one can stop you for being who you were created to be…., so I write not knowing, you sing not knowing, you paint, I make music, you run….someone once told me that “God makes kings when no one is watching” that statement I have never forgotten, I feel that its better to make your mistakes in private and learn than to run into the public and be crucified. All you are is learning your craft, your identity, your person.
You were created to be great and as you go on you will be amazed at what you discover about yourself, cooler than a penguin. God is Love

Chronicles Of We Are A.S.A.M

All characters are purely fictional and any resemblances are purely coincidental:)

Yesterday, as I was lying down on my bed reflecting on the day gone by, wondering about the feasibility of opening a roast maize stall in the upper class Muthaiga due to lack of competition ( I am sure your in awe of my enterprising foresight, never thought of that did you). I was bitten by a mosquito and fell into a deep sleep. As I woke up I saw in a vision, a mosquito ringing its fist in the air and standing on the moon looking at earth. What is this I thought to myself? “Nzwing! Nzwing!” I said to the mosquito, to which it replied, “I speak English idiot! And no! that is not how we sound!” “I want to recruit you into our devious scheme to take over the world” he spoke to me as he went into his evil monologue….”for a long time I have looked at you humans lying lazily on your bed like beached whales, bringing destruction to the world fighting each other like a group of women with synchronized periods and plundering the environment, it is with this that I…… “M and M” “Mosquito and Marvelous” formed the secret organization “A.S.A.M” “As Stealthy As A Mosquito” to take over the world. I have sent my minions across the globe who have extracted genetic information from you lowly worms every time they bite you, this genetic information is being fed into a supercomputer and after we have everyone’s information we shall build a remote that will be able to control everyone and hence the WORLD!!!!!!!”*maniacal buzzing* (their larynx is not adapted to laughing…….but this is what I presumed….) so why do you need me? I asked”We can’t survive in winter so we need you to build us a jacket and some mittens or develop some genetic strain that can sustain us in cold weather, we can’t get to those blasted Eskimos……..” “My goodness! Is that the best plan you could come up with!” I exhorted, ”Louis the Pest was our astute leader but he went Hollywood on us……..and to retort we were responsible for the recent G4S robberies…gathering money for our fiendish schemes, to send a team to the world cup as a sample of all nationalities should be present, making it easier to gather a bigger gene pool.” “Why you telling me all this?” I interrupted, “Actually I don’t know, I know Evil 101 “Don’t Monologue” but there’s a high you get from “monologuing” it’s a bad habit like staring at the mirror and telling yourself sweet nothings but you can’t stop….” What is your mantra?” I asked” I have a use in this ecosystem” he replied” Yeah, definitely a bad habit” I chuckled. “ENOUGH!” he blared, will you join us? We need you to free Louis the pest, we believe he is under a mind controlling device utilized by a zombie, she calls herself Paris Hillton, who rules Hollywood, eliminate all geckos, set ablaze pyrethrum fields on fire, you know what!, the rest will be communicated on acceptance, what you say?”................................................

Period Girl

Stella was a decent pretty simple young girl, chairlady of the knitting club, would bake muffins on Sunday afternoons and watch reruns of Cher, sold Girl Scout cookies to raise money for endangered pandas, found solace to life’s problems in Seventeen Magazine and would enjoy the disco, yes, she was a dancing queen.
Her life had been going pretty fine when one day she was going for the audition of the adaptation of Barbie to the big screen. Determined to be the biggest blonde of all blondes she set out with a fire in her belly to be the most awesome blonde she could be. On the way to the audition, she started to feel sick. Torn, she had to think whether to make a run for it to the chemist or to tough it out through the audition. As she stood there conflicted like an immature little gay boy unsure of whether to come out of the closet, she saw Casey her knitting partner,” Casey, hey! How you doing? I’m feeling a bit under the weather and I have this audition, do you have any meds that can help?” “Well, I have this….”be for Casey could finish replying, Stella started to feel overwhelmed. She snatched Casey’s purse, shuffling through her purse she stumbled across some pills which she quickly took and popped. “Stella!!!!!”Casey shouted, “what have you done? do you know what you have taken?” ”Casey, I would love to talk but I have to run”No! Stella wait!”Casey yelled” See you later! I’m running late! I have to become Barbie!!!” she said as she stormed off. Little did she know that she had taken ecstasy and an estrogen pill. Walking off her body started to feel eerie.
“Hey! Stella!” she heard, and as she looked up she saw the local boys ahead of her, “look douches! I don’t have time for your immature advances, why don’t you have a threesome with your hands, I’m in a rush” she blurted, the boys broke out in laughter “I like em fiesty” the leader Charles replied, “why don’t we channel that energy in a positive way, if you know what I mean?” as he pulled her close. “DOUCHEBAG!!!!!LET ME GO!!!!” she retorted as a struggle ensued; she fell down and banged her head on a nearby lamppost. As she got up livid, looking at the time, she realized she had missed the audition time, “YOU STUPID ASS MOTH*****!@ YOU MADE ME MISS MY DREAM TO BE PRINCESS BARBIE!!!!”she said as she continued to profusely cuss him out and as she did, she realized the more she bitched, the more she would get stronger and stronger.”DOUCHE!A SOMALI WOULDN’T CHIPS YOU! BITCH *)@#$7….!@^*” until she completely lost her cool and completely beat down seven boys single-handedly. As she came to her senses and realized what she had done she ran away home and as she ran she discovered she had wings, she had become a new Stella with wings. She found herself flying high above the city, distraught and confused. She made it home eventually. In her room as she cried like the little girl she is, she recalled the incident and everything that had happened. Locked up in her room the whole day, she would bitch for nothing and see her powers grow. Coming to terms with it she decided she would fight crime and protect little girls who are oppressed by society and can’t achieve their dreams to be the inner Barbie they dream of. With her faithful Seventeen magazine to preach to pubescent girls, girl scout cookies for comfort food to counsel victims and knitting needles to fight crime, sitting on her bed during that time of the month, PERIOD GIRL WAS BORN!!!! SHE FIGHTS CRIME PERIOD…….once a month though.

Advertising A new Angle

Ladies and gentlemen, the *NEW AND IMPROVED*way to smack a bitch is here with us today, False Hopes in conjunction with “Oh! No she didn’t” brings you “Right Angle” the new and effective way to open a can of whoop ass on that skank that needs to walk the plank. Tried and tested on chickenheads under the stringent “don’t test me, your on my last nerve” conditions for the best results, we were able to get the most out of that woosa! slap that takes it all away. Truly amazing! all the chickenheads slapped saw things RIGHT and from a new ANGLE in life, so is that irritating trick talking smack to you, come on smack that trick RIGHT upside her head and give her a new ANGLE on life, she insists on wearing that tacky weave c’mon smack her, RIGHT upside her head and give her a new ANGLE on life, that man in your life who thinks “work” is a four letter word c’mon smack him RIGHT upside his head and give him a new ANGLE on life,it applies to anything even that fool standing too close to you in a queue and thinks myspace is only a website, come on smack him too and give him a whole new angle on life its only RIGHT!
COME ON TRY US TODAY, RIGHT ANGLE A BITCH AND GIVE YOURSELF A WHOLE NEW LEASE ON LIFE. SHOW HIM/HER WHAT THE VALUE OF “X” IS.


CALL US TODAY ON: 1-800- OH-NO-SHE DIDNT

WHY SHOULD LIFE GIVE YOU CRAP WHEN YOU CAN SMACK IT RIGHT UPSIDE ITS HEAD AND GIVE IT A NEW ANGLE ON LIFE. YOU RUN THIS.

Hallo

He had no hope,
She had no hope,
They were both,
Hopeless,
Their destiny was tied,
In hopelessness,

Society unravels everyday unbeknownst of the struggles, trials and tribulations of the society it’s meant to protect. Everyday people, walk, day in and day out, not a smile, not a head nod or an acknowledgement of their brother’s existence, we walk. Walk away from other peoples’ pain, walk away from other people’s suffering, walk away from other people’s adversity. Maybe we have crossed each other in the supermarket, or maybe we were even in the same nursery but life happened, let’s walk and let me tell you a story of two individuals:Akinyi(Candy) and John

Candy
Her mother lost her job, her father ran off with a younger lover; enticed by the folly of youth, six other siblings in a 10 x 20 shack, limited food, with limited opportunities for a girl with a half baked education, her circumstances did not promise her a better life. “Akinyi, there’s this man I want you to go and see, he lives in plot 10, door number 9,” her mother said as tears were rolling down her cheek, “Mama why you crying?” she replied, “Don’t ask me questions!” he mother replied harshly,” I was cooking for you and your ungrateful siblings! It must be the onions, now go! And don’t let me have to repeat myself!” Off she went not knowing, life was to deal her an unexpected blow.
She lost her innocence that day, she was violently raped and lost her innocence and as she ran outside, she met her mother, who solemnly stood outside. “MOTHER! MOTHER! THAT MAN….HE FORCED HIMSELF ON ME!” she yelled as she cried profusely, and as she turned, she saw the man come outside and give her mother money, grin and walk back into his house looking fulfilled with himself.
“Akinyi, I’m sorry but one day you’ll understand…..its for….the good of the family….”she said, as she looked down, unable to even look at her daughter.
Akinyi stood there, pain stricken, downcast and that’s the day she “died” From that day she ran! She no longer walked but she ran, ran away from it all, ran away from herself she ran.
“Excuse me young girl, you look lost, can I give you a lift?” a motorist stopped and asked her, as she stood there still lost in the memories, she blankly entered the car, and this was the beginning of Candy, Akinyi died.

John
“John! How long am I gonna put up with this!the baby has been crying for forty minutes straight, I don’t know how long I’m gonna put up with this!” his girlfriend blared,” I can’t believe I left everything I have for this, you were the biggest mistake I ever made in my life, look at your daughter LOOK!”
Allow me to introduce to you John, a promising individual, charming, innovative……downtrodden. He had graduated from University seven years ago, top of his class, a few challenges hit his life and in one of his drinking sprees met Sheila at a bar. Their Chemistry was instantaneous and as instantaneous as it started, that’s how it ended. Life happened, no work, no opportunities living from job to job,whatever he could find. No one willing to support his ideas and visions, and now he had a daughter who he couldn’t support and a girlfriend who was going to walk.
“Sheila,….you know I’ve tried….I’ve tried….”he said with all the strength he could muster as he stared at his daughter. “well, its not good enough I’m sick and tired of your endless promises, MY DAUGHTER! Will not live off your promises!” she said as she picked up the baby. “DON’T EVEN DARE LOOKING FOR ME!”
“He sat there broken and contrite in spirit, how could someone from such a well to do background find himself here,” he asked himself. The phone rang,”John, its been awhile man, where have you been hiding, still on nappy duty hey? The person on the other line chuckled,”I’ve just got a job and me and the boys were going to celebrate I was wondering if you could come?” “Man, my life’s messed up right now, I’m not in the mood” “that’s why you coming! I’m picking you up in twenty minutes”and the caller hang up.
Motionless he sat there with tears in his eyes, recollecting each and every moment in his life. The doorbell rang “Ding! Dong!”….again it rang “Ding! Dong!”, whoever was at the door must have realized it was open and let himself in. “Geez! Man you look terrible, what the hell is going on with you?” he said,”ummmm things have just gone terribly wrong!” John replied, “it looks like you need this more than me, get up we’re going, and when’s the last time you showered!”
John slowly got up, freshened up as Maina waited for him. “Okay, I don’t see the point it couldn’t get any worse let’s go” John said as he entered the room where Maina was waiting for him.
They left to Club Caban, the hippest nightspot in town. The rest of his friends indulged themselves oblivious of John, only with random glances to say,”what you having?” they “acknowledged” him. The night went on with the same trend until the “boys” got tired and decided to switch venue”Oh! John we’re leaving for another club”Maina said, John was busy still reflecting over what just happened,”John!......John!”Maina tried calling him, and seeing no response, paid for the bill and left him some money as they left.
“Hey! There boy, your looking lonely, would you mind some company, I don’t like seeing handsome men alone” a beautiful, scantily dressed woman said to him as she pulled up a seat. “whatever, I doubt I’ll be good company” he replied,” Its okay I’ll be the judge of that” Candy retorted and as Candy began to strike a conversation he began to open up to her. Maybe all he needed was someone to talk to.
They talked for ages and he bought for her drinks as the night wore down. “Last call for alcohol” the bartender yelled. “it looks like we have to call it a night” John said,”well, the night doesn’t have to end here?” she replied with a cheeky grin. In his drunken stupor he proceeded to leave with Candy for the night, back to his place.
After a night of guilty pleasures he woke up not to see Candy ever again.
Days passed and went, as his relationship with his girlfriend and mother of his child deteriorated and so was the case with his health. “I can’t place what’s wrong with me” he thought to himself, he thought nothing of it and life continued.
One day as he walked down the street, tarmacking for a job, and he saw a sign “Have you been tested?” “Impossible!” he thought to himself but the image wouldn’t leave his mind.
As he sat at a Jobless Corner where people would wait for any “menial” jobs he saw a testing center in the distance. He couldn’t get his eyes off it and after a long and protracted battle within himself he stood up and proceeded to it.
“Goodafternoon, have a seat, have a look at this pamphlet as you wait,”a social worker said as she ushered him in. The room was dead silent even the T.V across looked like it had no sound coming from it. Everyone around him looked tense making that “God, if you don’t allow this, I will never”promise. He looked around saw a stack of magazines that he began to shuffle through and as he did that he heard a loud cry”WHY! WHYYYYYYY?NOOOOOOOOO? IT’S A LIE!!!!!” and as he looked up he saw Candy.

In life, we walk passed each other everyday, oblivious of each others struggles. We have lost the fundamentals of humanity, the rights to life. We live in a society that is materialistic, “what can you do for me?” We may not acknowledge it but our lives are woven together, poverty, unemployment, lack of healthcare, environmental degradation the list is endless, we may not think it but it does. Not acknowledging the struggles of our brothers is not acknowledging ourselves. What happened to us? We lost the greatest right and privilege, and core value….that is the right to love……. or we might just be tied in our hopelessness.
Next time you see me, be sure to say”Hallo!”

Chris Mark's Guide To Your Lost

Sema, you're lost
Reply:Have you tried googling me?

Sema,you're lost
Reply:Write an ABSRACT!

Sema,you're lost
Reply:And you are?

Sema,you're lost
Reply:Your gay
What
Reply:I meant HEY!

Sema you're lost
Reply:No, I actually preferred 24

Sema you're lost
Reply:And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids

Sema you're lost
Reply:Oh! gosh you found me now its your turn to hide

Sema,you're lost
Reply:Clearly not well enough

Sema,you're lost
Reply:Was blind but now I see

Sema, you're lost
Reply:and so are your testicles
What???
Reply:I mean did you used to wear spectacles

Sema,you're lost
Reply: Tereng! Tereng!

Sema, you're lost
Reply: look behind you
*turns*
(Quickly run away)

Stop Clowning

What's is it with clowns? big floppy feet, a car that flouts all the redundant Michuki rules, we complain about matatus but have you ever seen 10 clowns come out of a car the size of a walnut, that's just completely NUTS! Never trusted them, what are you trying to hide anyway behind that make-up?! I figure that being a clown is just a way to come out of the closet and is being abused by very many men who are trying to find an outlet for their deviant needs. "Blow on this balloon, child" what the hell is that meant to mean?!? come on and press my nose, my big fluffy nose? well look here OLD MAN its red! and that means danger! you CROSSDRESSER! and what's with that clown music!? ever heard of DJ Khaled put some WE The Best into that suicidal music!
It is rather quite hilarious though how they stand near parks or places that have many children and perform mythical tricks with "balloons" KID DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THE SQUEAKY BALLOONS, HE IS STILL A STRANGER!"
Okay let me put a spin on this, in this life their are many clowns, people who are entertaining but after awhile the clowning around plays out, and "taking that he who laughs last, abit too seriously"all it is, is the make-up or in this life they are many people who are just clowns, too afraid to be real so they live most of their lives acting stoopid, well all that they are is just a clown.
Live life like a circus, your bound to be a joke. Love and Celebrate who you are but understand you weren't created average, you were created great and destined for greatness!