Period Girl

Stella was a decent pretty simple young girl, chairlady of the knitting club, would bake muffins on Sunday afternoons and watch reruns of Cher, sold Girl Scout cookies to raise money for endangered pandas, found solace to life’s problems in Seventeen Magazine and would enjoy the disco, yes, she was a dancing queen.
Her life had been going pretty fine when one day she was going for the audition of the adaptation of Barbie to the big screen. Determined to be the biggest blonde of all blondes she set out with a fire in her belly to be the most awesome blonde she could be. On the way to the audition, she started to feel sick. Torn, she had to think whether to make a run for it to the chemist or to tough it out through the audition. As she stood there conflicted like an immature little gay boy unsure of whether to come out of the closet, she saw Casey her knitting partner,” Casey, hey! How you doing? I’m feeling a bit under the weather and I have this audition, do you have any meds that can help?” “Well, I have this….”be for Casey could finish replying, Stella started to feel overwhelmed. She snatched Casey’s purse, shuffling through her purse she stumbled across some pills which she quickly took and popped. “Stella!!!!!”Casey shouted, “what have you done? do you know what you have taken?” ”Casey, I would love to talk but I have to run”No! Stella wait!”Casey yelled” See you later! I’m running late! I have to become Barbie!!!” she said as she stormed off. Little did she know that she had taken ecstasy and an estrogen pill. Walking off her body started to feel eerie.
“Hey! Stella!” she heard, and as she looked up she saw the local boys ahead of her, “look douches! I don’t have time for your immature advances, why don’t you have a threesome with your hands, I’m in a rush” she blurted, the boys broke out in laughter “I like em fiesty” the leader Charles replied, “why don’t we channel that energy in a positive way, if you know what I mean?” as he pulled her close. “DOUCHEBAG!!!!!LET ME GO!!!!” she retorted as a struggle ensued; she fell down and banged her head on a nearby lamppost. As she got up livid, looking at the time, she realized she had missed the audition time, “YOU STUPID ASS MOTH*****!@ YOU MADE ME MISS MY DREAM TO BE PRINCESS BARBIE!!!!”she said as she continued to profusely cuss him out and as she did, she realized the more she bitched, the more she would get stronger and stronger.”DOUCHE!A SOMALI WOULDN’T CHIPS YOU! BITCH *)@#$7….!@^*” until she completely lost her cool and completely beat down seven boys single-handedly. As she came to her senses and realized what she had done she ran away home and as she ran she discovered she had wings, she had become a new Stella with wings. She found herself flying high above the city, distraught and confused. She made it home eventually. In her room as she cried like the little girl she is, she recalled the incident and everything that had happened. Locked up in her room the whole day, she would bitch for nothing and see her powers grow. Coming to terms with it she decided she would fight crime and protect little girls who are oppressed by society and can’t achieve their dreams to be the inner Barbie they dream of. With her faithful Seventeen magazine to preach to pubescent girls, girl scout cookies for comfort food to counsel victims and knitting needles to fight crime, sitting on her bed during that time of the month, PERIOD GIRL WAS BORN!!!! SHE FIGHTS CRIME PERIOD…….once a month though.